May 20th, 2016
7:00pm- I had scheduled the induction the week before with Dr. Park in case I didn't go into labor on my own during that week, and he checked my cervix at not even a 1. Which I didn't, after many walks, pineapples, spicy food, jumping, and yoga ball bouncing sessions. I got cold feet the night before the induction, worrying that my body/baby wasn't ready and I should just stick it out to 42 weeks for everyone's safety (note to self: do not Google "Should I wait to 42 weeks to be induced?" the night before induction.) There seemed to be so many cons and not many pros to inducing before 42 weeks, but that's the skewed internet opinions and brainwashy birthing class teacher talking. After a long and tearful discussion with Derek, we decided to still keep the induction date at 41 weeks. We prepped all day, cleaned, made last minute double checks on my hospital bag (aka added more junk food haha), and had a friend come over to watch our dog, Phoebe. After receiving a Priesthood blessing from Derek, we left for the hospital. It was surreal leaving our apartment, thinking the next time we came back, there would be another family member with us!
8:00pm- We got checked in at the hospital, settled in our room, met our night nurse, got my vitals taken, started IVs, went over plans of order of events (3 doses of Cytotec to dilate cervix, then Pitocin, then epidural). My cervix was checked, still kinda at a 1. I had to be on monitors for self and baby for 30 min prior to Cytotec doses.
9:15pm- Got my first dose of Cytotec to dilate and soften my cervix. Stayed on the monitors for an hour after. There were some contractions, but not painful ones. Derek and I just watched HGTV (Chip and Jo got me through!), surfed the net, and talked. That time was so light and happy just being together. We got ready for bed at 11:30pm and I tried to sleep, but I couldn't fall asleep fast enough before the nurse was coming back to check me in an hour.
May 21, 2016
12:30am- The nurse put the monitors back on and checked my cervix. I was still dilated to a 1, which wasn't surprising to her, since sometimes they have to do up to 3 doses of the Cytotec for it to work and then place Pitocin. I was so worried my labor wouldn't progress and I'd have to get a C-section. The nurse placed the second dose of Cytotec and I was on the monitors for another hour. I tried to sleep with the monitors on, but it was pretty difficult with 49 bands around your belly and an IV and contractions and the nurse was coming back in another hour to remove the monitors.
2:00am- I kept trying to sleep even after the monitors were taken off, but it didn't work since my contractions were getting stronger. First they felt like just a nuisance, then some pain, then eventually a lot of pain. I was so tired already (I am a wimp when it comes to all-nighters in the past) but I could only sleep in the few minutes in between contractions.
3:00am- The contractions were getting really intense. I tried all the different positions I could remember from birthing class to try and help me cope with the pain, from pacing around the room, being on all fours on my bed, sitting on the toilet, resting my arms on the sink while I swayed back and forth, not much helped. Derek was still asleep at this point and I tried to be quiet. It hurt sooo bad, but I tried to focus on making it until 3:30 before calling the nurse for help. I was so worried I was just being a wimp because I had no clue if these were even labor pains! I kept thinking "C'mon, be tough Morgan! You haven't even had the Pitocin yet! You're probably still at a 1 and can't have an epidural yet!"
3:30am- I made it this far, so I convinced myself to wait until 4:00am to call for the nurse. I sat on the toilet and felt something leaking, turned out to be blood. I kinda freaked out a little since I thought it was supposed to be my water breaking and it couldn't be my mucous plug, because it wasn't...mucousy. So I gave in and called the nurse and told her. She said it was normal and it could have been my mucous plug. I also told her my contractions were close together and really really strong (I felt like such a whiner). She said we could get Fentanyl for pain and I wanted to hug her! She came back with the goods and I had another contraction, which she complimented my breathing through it (I still felt like I was being a drama queen since for all she knows, I could be having minimal pain.) She gave me half the dose of the Fentanyl in my IV and I got super lightheaded and dizzy so she had me lie down and hooked me up to the monitors again to watch my contractions and baby's heart rate. After a few minutes my contractions still hurt but not as bad and she said my contractions were coming one right after another and too close together (helped me validate my pain a little). So she started me on IV saline to slow them down, which worked after waiting a few minutes.
4:30am- The first half dose of Fentanyl wore off and my contractions were full force again. The nurse offered another full dose of Fentanyl, to which I said YAAASSS ALL THE DRUGS! It of course made me more dizzy and lightheaded and drowsy and my forehead was all sensitive and tingly but it was actually pretty fun haha! I tried to sleep but the contractions would wake me up every few minutes and then I'd go back to sleep in between them. Derek was up at this point and talked to me (and took videos) while I was high as a kite. I kind of remember feeling like I was on a boat on the ocean and the waves were rocking me to sleep and I was diggin' it (I let Derek know as well). The contractions were a little less painful, but not even reduced by half. The nurse checked my cervix again (which was agonizing during contractions) and I was at a large 3.5! I was so happy I was progressing and not making this up! She said we probably wouldn't need to place the third dose of Cytotec and I probably wouldn't need Pitocin! What the what!
5:30am- The Fentanyl wore off and my contractions were full force again. I asked the nurse what my options were (hoping I could go on another trippy ride on the Fentanyl train...20 more times :) ) and she said we could do the Fenanyl again (PRAISES) but the effects might not work as well as the first time, or we could do the epidural since I was dilated enough. Me, being my opportunistic self said, "hows about both?" So I got another full dose of Fentanyl while she called the anesthesiologist, who would take 30 minutes to get to the hospital. I got dizzy and lightheaded again from the drugs, but also a bit of nausea and I wanted to stop the boat on the stormy ocean I had been enjoying earlier. Also, I guess I would be a drug addict in no time on the streets, because this dose of drugs hardly did anything as I developed a tolerance to it in just 3 doses. I felt full contraction pains but still tried to sleep in between (hah. good one). I got some Zofran for the nausea, which helped. I could barely wait for the anesthesiologist, the pain was so so bad. I breathed through each one with Derek, mostly testing out different sounds to see which helped. I ended up sticking with weird "shhh" noises and low "ooo"s. I sounded like a crazy person but I literally couldn't care less, it was the worst pain ever ever ever, like a charlie horse in my whole stomach and legs and the world's strongest man squeezing my whole body and a hippo sitting on my chest. The contractions were still every 2 minutes or less.
6:00am- The anesthesiologist got there, but oh man, he was a Chatty Cathy! He found out Derek was an aspiring anesthesiologist and first year med student and then proceeded to explain every little thing he was doing and why and quiz Derek! "So, what would happen if I were to draw blood with this needle? What layer would be after the dura mater in the spine?" I was getting more and more frustrated with every contraction and wanted to yell STOP WITH THE ANATOMY LESSON AND GIVE ME THE $*!#@$*# DRUGS!! And he also was talking to me, I don't know how he expected me to be pleasant and respond nicely to him while I'm having these freaking huge contractions. So it seemed like a lifetime before he placed the catheter and gave me the drugs. The numbing needle didn't even hardly hurt at all and I didn't feel the catheter going in. I tried soo hard not to move during the injections cuz, ya know, didn't want to get paralyzed if I moved suddenly. But it was way hard to do during freaking huge contractions right after each other, I almost bit my lip off and buried my nails into my hands so hard to stay sitting still and hunched over. After placing the catheter, it took forever to hook up the drugs, but when he did-oh man. They gradually started working and I was the happiest person on earth. He continued to talk nerdy with Derek for a bit and kept saying to me, "now you can take a nap!" which I so needed. And then he proceeded to talk to Derek in the room for another 40 minutes. -___- But I was happy I could only feel a little pressure on my pelvis. And my contraction monitor was going crazy, showing them coming one after another! And I was like, "Huh. Fire tornado."
7:00am- Shift change and we got a new nurse who checked me and said, "Whoa. Your bag of waters is bulging so much past your cervix, I'm nervous to touch it and accidentally break it. But I can't feel the sides of your cervix." Derek and I were like, "Sooo, is that like a ....7?" And she was like "No way, definitely a 10!" We were like "What!?!" Holy crap that was so awesome and fast. From a 3.5 to a 10 in 2.5 hours! She put a urinary catheter in, which didn't hurt at all, my nether regions just felt like pins and needles.
After a bit she called Dr. Park and he was like "Oh man! On my way, 2 minutes out!" She had me try pushing and I found it waaay more effective to push laying on my sides with someone holding one leg up. Dr. Park came in and broke my water (which I felt the gush of warm, which was weird cuz I was supposed to be numb, but it was cool feeling) and we kept pushing. He checked me and kept saying "Whoa, baby is right there and is just gonna fall right out!" I felt more and more pressure on my pelvic area, especially bum area. I said, "Gosh, I've never been this constipated!" I was a little frustrated because Derek and the nurse kept saying I was doing so good and they could see the baby's head (as in, I thought she was crowning or something) but then kept saying the same things after a lot more pushes. -___- Don't lie to me, people. She isn't right there if I keep having to push. By the way everyone was talking, I thought I would only have to push for like 3 pushes. I ended up pushing for an hour and a half. The pressure on my bum kept getting worse despite the epidural and I worried it was wearing off and not working. I pushed my button to give me more numbing drugs 2 more times to make sure I'd stay numb the whole time. I got more frustrated as time went on stilllll pushing. I told Derek I couldn't do it. He said, "Yes, you can! You are doing it!" I was getting sooo tired in between pushes that I was falling asleep. Derek was good at feeding me ice chips. I did feel like I got cranky at him a bit during pushing because I was overall just frustrated at still pushing. I surprised myself and didn't want any of the things I had thought I would want during labor. Didn't want a massage, didn't want to hold his hand, don't blow the little fan on my face, gimme more ice, couNT FASTER, KEEP THE ICE PACK ON MY BACK, MORE ICE MORE ICE IN MY MOUTH!! But later, he said I was polite when I said those things haha. And I felt myself pooping during pushing. So that was glamorous. I felt like pushing was literally going nowhere and that I would push forever.
Then finally the nurse went to get Dr. Park and we pushed some more (I got a random extra boost of strength cuz I knew the end had to be close). I actually felt more pain in my nether regions more than expected, especially since I had an epidural and expected to feel nothing and not know how to push, but I felt a lot and everyone said I was a good pusher. Then Dr. Park finally said, "Okay, little push." I was like "uhh, I don't know how to little push, I've only been doing big pushes so long that's all I know how to do!" And I felt her shoulders and body come slipping out like a little baby seal! My cord was pretty short so they just put her on my stomach but I couldn't believe that she was mine and that Derek and I made her and she was here! She only cried a little, so the nurses had to pat her around so she would get a good cry. She was so alert and holding her head up looking around and had chunky arm rolls. The nurses said she is a good looking 41 week baby that was alert and oriented, many born earlier weeks are more sluggish and sleepy and weak. I thought I would be grossed out by the slippery goo covering her but I wasn't and it evaporated pretty quick. Derek cut the cord and the nurses took pictures. The placenta was cool feeling coming out and was so big, I couldn't believe it was in me! Derek and I kept looking at each other in tears thinking "We did it! We made her and she is perfect!" During this, Dr. Park was stitching me up for like 20 minutes, nurses and him kept saying how much fluid and blood there was. I kept seeing towels saturated with blood in the corner of my eye and nurses avoiding a puddle spot on the floor. I had no clue how much blood I lost, but Derek said it was a small lake. I had said prior to delivery that I didn't want an episiotomy, thinking I wouldn't tear if I didn't get one, but I guess I needed it because I bled a lot and had several 2nd degree tears all over the place. That was one of my regrets looking back, that I would have rather gotten an episiotomy done by the Dr instead of my body just ripping all over the place instead. I never saw anything, but apparently my nether regions are pretty mangled. The pain is gradually getting better, though. After they gave me Brynlee and cut her cord, she nursed for a bit and had skin to skin time and then went to Derek for skin to skin time (alll the heart eye emojis!!) She is so perfect and we literally can't even!
